Family Vision Statement
I think having shared family values is important in a growing family. Is a Family Vision Statement the way to go? Or should it be a Family Mission Statement?
What is the difference?
In the Beginning
Before we had children, my wife adopted the mantra: “High Standards; Low Expectations.”
It is a rule we live by, as, in general, fed children not bleeding out at the end of the day marks success.
I’m unsure where she got this meme from; I’ll have to ask during date night. We don’t have dates to discuss finances, so maybe one to discuss a new family mantra might be nice.
But I want to go beyond a family mantra, or a meme. I want shared family values! Or a mission? No, maybe not a mission. A vision?
Mission, Vision, and Values
Where I used to work, they talked a lot about mission, vision, and values.
I think once upon a time, they meant something, but now they want money and distract you with the taglines and feel-good advertising.
Regardless, as it turns out, there is a difference between mission, vision, and values.
If you google “Family Values Statement,” you get less than 2.6k hits. “Family Mission Statement” is the winner at 52k, and “Family Vision Statement” has ~4k. So, is it going to be Family Mission or Family Vision?
Family Mission or Family Vision?
Let’s try some definitions.
- Vision – Why we are (ideal future)
- Mission – What we are (reason for existence)
- Values – How you will conduct yourself
What do you want to achieve (mission), and how will it be achieved (values)?
But most importantly, why?
Family Starts with Why
Why is your family important?
In the book Start with Why, above, you can see the “golden circle.” [Affiliate Link. The book is 90% boring business stories; you might be better off with the TedTalk]
Start with your “why.” Why is your family important?
That makes sense to me. While how and what is important, it all starts with why.
Ok, so it is Family Vision Statement. Here it is:
Our Family Vision Statement
So here is our Family Vision Statement:
Be Passionate. Grow. Learn. Share. Experience Pride. Bring Joy
It is still a work in progress.
Without getting into too many gory family details, it has passion at its core. Why else be alive?
Then, we grow, learn and share. My wife and I both know that personal growth and education are necessary.
Then, for me, “Experience Pride” is the opposite of experiencing shame. If you must know, shame caused my physician burnout. “Empathy” is also said to be the opposite of shame, but after 20 years in medicine, that word has baggage.
Finally (and most importantly), “Bring Joy” is pilfered from my wife’s personal value statement.
The Reason for a Family Vision Statement
So, why have a Family Vision Statement?
A shared vision brings together your family’s values and purpose. The idea is to explicitly state what is important to your family and bond the generations together.
Why not reflect if the decision fits your vision when making a family decision?
When reviewing a child’s (or especially a parent’s!) behavior, is it “good”?
When having an argument, are you being consistent with your personal and family vision?
Finally, why have a family vision statement? Day-to-day decisions are easier. Do they support family values?
As our children grow (and, indeed, my wife and I continue to grow, too), they shall know that they belong to our family, which is important and special.
Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically
on their environment
and
especially on their children
than the Unlived Life of the Parent
-Carl Jung