Happy no matter what in Retirement

Happy no matter what in Retirement

Happy no matter what in Retirement

 

 

I want to be happy no matter what in retirement. After all, happiness is a choice.

And, importantly, human capacity for happiness hasn’t changed since the beginning. So you can be about as happy as you decide to be.

Because underneath everything, past all the BS layers, our natural state is one of happiness and contentedness. Don’t fight the natural connection to yourself and others. Often, I can outsmart myself and use my over-thinking as a weapon against myself. Thinking gets in the way of happiness.

Happiness is a choice, and it is a moral obligation. We must be happy so we can contribute to the happiness of others. I want to be happy no matter what in retirement.

 

You can be Happy no matter what

Many people mistakenly believe that circumstances make a person. They don’t. Instead, they reveal him or her. ~Richard Carlson, PhD

Let’s look at You Can Be Happy No Matter What by Richard Carlson. He defines happiness as feelings of gratitude, inner peace, satisfaction, and affection for ourselves and others. This is a decent definition of happiness as something we feel rather than chase after.

The main barrier to happiness is the learned negative thought process we accept as real. We think that our thinking is somehow important.

He argues all we have to do is remove “thinking,” and we can access our true inner self, a happy, content, and loving person. Besides, life feels less complicated, and we can access our wisdom and common sense. Finally, we become less critical and reactive, making better decisions and communicating effectively.

This state is “healthy psychological functioning,” or what he calls a nice feeling. How to get there? Let’s look at his five principles for keeping life in perspective.

 

The Principles of Happiness

 

Thinking

If we remember that thinking is voluntary, we don’t need to go much further to realize that we can choose what our thoughts mean. The point is that thinking happens, which could be a fleeting second thought or take several days to develop fully. But these thoughts happen, and feelings automatically follow thoughts. We cannot control that feelings derive from thoughts; the brain cannot differentiate a real situation from pure thought, and the response is the same.

When we forget that thinking is just a function of our consciousness, just like breathing or our heartbeat, we can forget that negative feelings happen due to negative thoughts. Automatic negative thoughts.

Thoughts are not reality. It appears as if they are, circumstances dictate feelings and if you believe that you are lost.

You get to decide what it means to you.

…it may seem as though thinking is determined by what the outside world is doing. But it’s actually the other way around. Our thinking shapes our experience of life. the way we think about something and, most important, the way we relate to our thinking, will determine its effect on us. The outside circumstance itself is neutral. Only thoughts bring meaning to a circumstance. ~Carlson

Taken to the extreme, psychosis is when someone believes that their thoughts represent reality. That voice in your head; if it is real, you are psychotic. The other extreme is understanding that a thought is just a thought. Nothing more, nothing less. Pick which “thought attack” we must respond to and which we can ignore.

Our thoughts seem real because we are the ones thinking. However, different circumstances mean different things to different people; therefore, we choose how our thoughts affect us. Especially negative thoughts. Stop paying attention to negative thoughts and be happy instead.

 

 

Moods

As our thinking fluctuates over time, we have moods. Thought systems organize together and become the narrative in our heads—patterns over time; what fires together, wires together.

We can have old thought patterns because they were there in the past. They are just old thought patterns. Just because we have thought about it doesn’t mean it is true.

When we are in “low moods,” we cannot physiologically listen or process thoughts. And we have a poor perspective on life, and everything seems “serious, important, and urgent.”

Carlson suggests we appreciate our highs and be graceful in our lows. Don’t respond when you are in a bad mood. Instead, please wait for it to pass. Then get stuff done.

This makes sense as our neocortex gets less blood flow when we are under stress. Cortisol shunts blood away from the areas of the brain responsible for listening and thinking. You will not hear someone talk when you are stressed, nor will you understand what they are saying, and you cannot formulate a rational response. It is physiological.

All we need to do is not take low moods seriously, let them pass, and don’t think we need to do much while in a low mood. Fellow men also get in low moods; let it pass for them, too. If you are grumpy, don’t do much important.

 

Separate Psychological Realities

We all see the world differently. So lighten up and let others see it the way they want to. Don’t expect the versions to be the same!

 

We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anais Nin

 

See reality differently from others and be okay with it. Have compassion for others and self-compassion—don’t bother to try and change other people. Their reality is just as valid to them as yours is to you. Thoughts are self-validating, but there is no logical reason to believe what you see is the only way to interpret things.

 

Feelings

Emotions are just a biofeedback mechanism that lets us know how we are doing. That is, if you are feeling well, then you are thinking well. If you are feeling poorly, it is because you are thinking poorly, or at least believing your thinking is real and the only possible truth.

Let negative feelings happen and leave them alone; they, too, shall pass. We choose to be happy no matter what or be in a bad mood. Feelings happen. Let them pass as well.

 

The Present Moment

How do you let bad feelings and bad moods pass? By being in the present moment. The present moment is so important in all religions and philosophies of life. There must be something to it, right?

The present moment is where inner peace and happiness reside. You can believe it or not, just like you choose to be happy.

Happy no matter what in Retirement

You can feel happy right now even if everything isn’t perfect. If not happy, then what about contentment? And looking for fulfillment?

If you want to be happy no matter what in retirement unlock a childlike enjoyment of life.

Enjoy the little things. Find Joy In the Little Things. Feel gratitude for the little things in your life.

 

 

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