Hope and Optimism

Now and again, I turn to hope and optimism because it is fun. While I admit I’m a gruff pessimist most of the time, I do hope and have optimism for a better future.

Hope is learned. You can make your future better. Let’s better understand the difference between hope and optimism.

What is Hope?

Hope is the learned ability to see and make your future better than your past. It combines optimism and efficacy. There are three main components:

Goals: Know which direction you are headed or any path will do
Agency (Will Power): Motivation to reach your goals
Pathways: Roadblocks will always be present, and iteration to different pathways are necessary

So, hope is ”a psychological resource that motivates and drives future action.” (Thriving in Adversity: Toward a Framework of Hope, Optimism, and Resilience)

Hope is a thought rather than an emotion. It can be taught.

It differs from a wish, as with hope, you have agency, and a wish is out of your control. You don’t wish and become better. It takes inner work. And hope.

Benefits of Hope

There are many benefits of hope. In general, you feel better about yourself and your life. You are less lonely, experience more positive emotions, and have an increased sense of purpose and meaning in your life. Not only do you have better physicial health when you choose hope, but you also have better interpersonal relationships and more connection in your life. Who wants to be with Debby Downer?

How to Become More Hopeful

There are more than a few suggestions for becoming more hopeful. Here is a start:

Understand that hope is not an emotion but something you can learn and actively participate in
Visualize Hope. Drawings, pictures, paintings, and vision boards. Make the thoughts appear on paper
Manifest hope. Goals are exciting challenges. Imagine how you’ll feel when you get there. Act
Be flexible. Expect to iterate
Be creative. Unleash your gut and your intuitive genious. Only you are resourced and creative enough
Motivation. What usually works for you and why?
Expect roadblocks. Demand them, actually
One Day One Step at a time
Never Stop. You only fail if you stop
Leverage strength from others. You have people in your life that have succeeded through hope and optimism. What wisdom might they have lurking in unasked questions?
Develop personally relevant goals
Pathways, Willpower, Problem-Solving
Re-Goal Setting. Like all worthwhile things in life, this is not a one-and-done deal

What is Optimism?

Optimism may be more tied to resilience than hope. Resilience is your capacity to adapt despite adversity and risk.

Optimism is your view of life’s circumstances and your choices and responses.

It is your general setpoint. If you are more optimistic at baseline, you are more resilient to triggers. In the face of negative life events such as small t traumas, optimism may actually foment hopelessness. You have no agency to affect optimism, and despite your “good humor,” things keep happening no matter how positively I feel about myself and the world around me. If you are optimistic, you believe good things will happen to you regardless of what you do. What if good things don’t happen?

Optimism vs Hope

Hope can create change and be a sustainable source of a helpful, positive outlook. Hope correlates direction the importance of personal growth and the improvement of your life around you.

Hope requires agency (motivation) and iteration (trying new things). If you cannot hope, then it is better to be optimistic than the alternative.

Hope alone will increase resilience.

Summary – Hope and Optimism

Hope and optimism play a role in any recovery process, but they are especially important to heal inner child wounds. While recovery from trauma is possible, knowing the goal—the endpoint of therapy—is important to set your healing intentions. You don’t want to be normal; you want to be well-resourced, well-parented (or well-partnered), and intent on suffering so that your children don’t need to suffer.

Someone has to do the work to stop intergenerational trauma.

Have hope that you are the one.