Emotions Require the Serenity Prayer
Emotions require wisdom to know the difference and just a touch of the rest of the Serenity Prayer.
Managing your emotions requires unwavering authentic self-confidence. You must know who you are, or what Gen Xers call “self-esteem.” Confidence stems from your authentic desire to know the difference that your emotions play in yourself and those around you.
It is possible to be yourself and live with your emotions in harmony. Of course, the ultimate answer is to give up control, but often having the wisdom to know the difference may better suit our sense of control.
Confidence Unswervingly Authentic
Your emotions are like a team of horses. The next ten minutes and ten hours depend on how you drive the stagecoach. You hold the reins in your hands. You are in big trouble if you become convinced that the horses are in control. If you are convinced your emotions are in charge, then you are just along for the ride and in big trouble.
Serenity, courage, and wisdom are the key to defending your emotional stability. Know what you can change and what you cannot. Be Unswerving. Authentic. You.
Accept what you cannot change. That’s just about everything that happens to you. Radical acceptance. Serenity.
Change requires courage. If you decide to be authentic, you have the courage to meld your emotions to live your best life that “God Grant Me.” You are free to guide the team; no one else can do it.
Why is Life Complicated?
Wisdom means understanding why we think life is complicated.
Life is complicated because we chase things we neither need nor really want.
Instead of doing the simple or easy thing, we, swept along by cultural expectations and keeping up with the Joneses, don’t pause even a second and recognize that we are always busy.
Instead of celebrating simplicity, embracing easiness, we are busy. Running from ourselves by acquiring things we neither need nor really want. How many Americans can actually park in their garage? What all is in there?
Or what is the point of a toy hauler? Unless that is what brings you happiness. That’s a good blog for you: FIRE and How I Justify a Toy Hauler.
And then you need to rent a storage space for your stuff and your hauler. That’s why life is complicated because we think it needs to be full of stuff we don’t necessarily need. Or even want!
Running Willingly into the Arms of Complication
Don’t run willingly into the arms of complication. If you had the choice of death now vs. death by 1000 cuts, which would you choose?
Yes, stuff happens. Unexpected events add chaos to your life, but it just adds to the complications you have already curated in your life. Death by 1000 cuts is a job or life unexamined. It is a reason to go into automatic and not pay attention to your actions.
Curate simplicity so you can deal with it when a chaotropic entrophile enters your life.
The Wisdom to Know the Difference
Wisdom comes from understanding the compounding effects of a choice. There is always a trade-off when you decide to do one thing rather than another. Life, investing, and even serenity is a trade-off. What are you willing to accept, and at what cost?
And what are the compounding effects of a choice?
Both purchase price and maintenance. You have to live with your decisions and should have the wisdom to know that there are two expenses to every decision: what it costs you now and what it costs you in the future. Purchase price and ongoing maintenance. Like when you buy a new car there is upkeep. Same with a home. Or a spouse. Or, especially daunting, with children.
Examples of the two costs of a decision are prevalent in any own vs. rent decision. Initial cost. And Maintenance. Two costs.
But what about the third cost of your time? Life is a series of moments, and your stuff costs time.
Beyond time is important, like knowing when you have enough and deciding that Maslov’s idea of self-actualization is something you can own or rent, too.
Serenity
Once you understand there is no hope to control everything in your life, you might decide to focus on the team you are driving. You have the reins and ensure your horses are fed, watered, and well-trained. Life will happen, and there is always hope. You only stop growing when you think you are done with life.
Serenity means saying no to stuff that is not unwaveringly authentically you. When you find your unrecognized spiritual need, you have arrived. Serenity is just as good as enlightenment in my book.
My book? It is Stumbling Upon Happiness. The book’s point is that you cannot predict what will make you happy in five years. The team you are driving has to have your hope that you will get to the end of the journey successfully. No one would ride the stagecoach unless it got there eventually. Safely. Most of the time.
We cannot know what makes us happy five years from now. Just like your current series of emotions reflect your serenity, wisdom, and especially courage. Enjoy the moment.
Stumbling upon happiness is the lesson for every moment in your life. There are many paths to a transforming spiritual experience. All it takes is the courage to be yourself.
