Equanimity as an Intention
My weekly intention is equanimity. Well, actually, equanimity works both weekly and daily.
That means that not every day will be a great day, and that is ok. After all, more often than not, life is good.
Equanimity is the standard that, more often than not, today will be just fine. Or better than fine. But no pressure or judgment if not every day is perfect. After all, remember, half the days will be less fun, exciting, fulfilling, sexual, or whatever, than the others. Yet we all think we are above-average students and drivers. Like we are overconfident in our driving ability but at the same time underconfident that our week is about as good as the average.
If you separate yourself from the crowd—you really think that you had a worse week than most, or even if you just deserve better,
what about equanimity as an intention?
Equanimity as an Intention
Intentions are quite different than goals. When you let go of your to-do list and want to know what is really important to do today, actually to accomplish to care for your internal rather than external self, you find where intentions take space. It’s like you need to pretend you don’t care what anyone else thinks; what makes you happy if you got it done today? A little secret pleasure.
Just like not getting distracted by other people’s urgencies. Let that go, and focus on today: If you got just this one thing done (actually, not even a specific act, more likely a whole project), the day would be a success. You stack these successes on each other. Ask yourself, “what can I do next that if I just got that one thing done, this whole day will be a success?”
All while some days you are happy if you can manage to get the dishwasher unloaded.
On other days equanimity means 2-3 hours at the gym. That’s just how the day starts, and if it doesn’t, it is a 6-mile walk before the sun is up (we are still winter way up north, so it is easier to do than you think). And then, when I’m in a pretty good mood, I ask myself, what else can I do right now that would really kick ass? Or, like, what would be the next thing that if I got it done, I would consider the whole day a success? Stack two or three successes that make the day good to go.
But don’t get carried away. Not every day need be a success. That’s what equanimity is about. You can give yourself a little break.
Weekly Intention is Equanimity
Why not stack mostly good days into a good week? Or at least a stable week. On the good days, start with something that, by itself, feels like a successful day when you get it done, and then you stack on the next best thing you can do that day.
Some days won’t make the cut. In this business, it is day in and day out. Up and down. As within, so without.
Equanimity takes time.
Equanimity Takes Time
Equanimity takes time. It takes a while to actually have the good days and yet not judge yourself for having not-as-good days. It takes reps. The actual time passes slowly as you live more in the moment and try to respond rather than react. Finding the space to get yourself out of automatic thinking. More often than not, a good day is one where you can enjoy the small things.
Since you aren’t perfect at it the very first time you try it, sometimes you beat yourself up. Right, I know. I do too. When I was young, I quit doing stuff if I wasn’t perfect at it right away (whatever that means) or if I otherwise got frustrated with it. Do you have a really low tolerance for any frustration before quitting?
Instead, take a deep breath. Seriously instead of being self-critical, try to break the cycle by breathing deeply. Right down through your diaphragm. If you haven’t started breathing exercises every day (or the equivalent), shame on you. The data are good that intentional diaphragmatic breathing is good for you. Yes, even you. Just do it like you take a vitamin every day. And after breathing, just google mindfulness.
If you allowed yourself to have a pretty good week, day-by-day, more good days than bad days, and every day you accomplished something that makes the day good to go, that is equanimity.
But after that, you can take it easy and enjoy the rest of the day.
Just like equanimity doesn’t mean you can’t have a good day, it doesn’t mean you cannot have a productive day, either.
Equanimity as an Intention
An intention is not something hard to do; you just have to do it. If equanimity is your daily intention, do the important stuff in the morning and then take care of yourself in the afternoon. You have your own schedule that you fill with stress or equanimity. Why not choose equanimity?
Me? If you ask me for a weekly intention, it is equanimity. And interestingly enough, equanimity is also my daily intention. Equanimity is where my daily and weekly intentions collide.
It is a great place to be because I can stay there today and weekly, regardless of what is going on in my life.
You start somewhere when you decide to improve. Daily or weekly, you intend to find some equanimity now and still live a little today.
Equanimity is a good intention every day and every week. It is pretty simple: have a better-than-average day today, at least more often than not. Start with equanimity as the intention.
