On Being a Pseudo-Physician
I am a pseudo-physician. There I said it!
Being a pseudo-physician is an achievement (because I escaped the chains of usual employment due to financial independence), and I happily receive the award given to pseudo-doctors.
It is a good thing to be a pseudo-physician. It means you have lived a little and found an alternative to working for the system of healthcare that is failing us. Put your doctorate to work for you and make pseudo-doctoring your way of authentic happiness.
Why Pseudo-Physician?
I have encountered “pseudo” as a pejorative twice in my life.
First, my second home purchase. It was her dream property, summarily christened the pseudo-ranch. She hails from a mini-empire ranch (ala Yellowstone minus Kevin Costner) which shaped her childhood deeply, and when she moved to town, the pseudo-ranch promulgated the facade. We purchased it after the 2008 housing market crash as DINKS (double income no kids) and paid it off in eight or ten years.
The pseudo-ranch is worth 2.1 times the purchase price, but that’s real estate for you.
The other time I came across “pseudo,” well, it is much worse.
I was accused of being a pseudo-intellect. It hurt at the time. This was college in York, England, for a semester of philosophy and a summer to travel. That’s right, I considered myself an intellect since I was overseas studying a useless subject and hopping hostels until junior year resumed at the University of Michigan. To probe the unknown.
He wasn’t a nice guy and threatened me with a knife and drew pseudo-stigmata on my dorm room door. Yes, not a nice guy. I moved to much nicer digs at Colleges’ request and spent time discovering the feminine landscape of England while watching mallard ducks’ behavior; both are long stories.
Times I came across “pseudo” in my life have been significant—a dashed dream home and a nightmare abroad.
To now be a pseudo-physician is almost beyond belief and an honor I hope many of you share with me!
Characteristics of Pseudo-Physicians
Because to be a pseudo-physician means you are free from the system! The system of shame-based education and pimping. And, come on, we all have horror stories to tell.
What does it take to be a pseudo-physician? I’m glad you asked!
You need to have a terminal degree. MD. DO. Whatever floats your boat.
And that is it. That’s all it takes to be a pseudo-physician.
To get the pseudo part in front of your moniker requires you to do something other than work for corporate medicine. The man. The machine in which you are a mere cog. You know what I’m talking about. If you get a W-2, you are employed. If you are 1099, you might still be working for the man. But to be a pseudo-physician, you can’t participate in America’s death spiral of medicine.
We know that medicine needs a massive overhaul. What percentage of GDP will healthcare be by the time Americans are sick enough of their health care that they vote to do something drastic? This death spiral of medicine in America is what you escape when you become pseudo.
What Does it Mean to Be a Pseudo-Physician?
What door prizes do you win as a pseudo-physician? None. It just means you are practicing on your terms. You can practice medicine or life (or Financial Independence) outside the system.
I say the system is broken, and I’m not participating in it anymore. Being a pseudo-physician means you take all the joy, pain, and lessons of being a physician and move on.
Live life outside of the stereotypes and the hierarchy of medicine. Let it go!
The first two times I was pseudo-anything, I had lessons to learn. Now I am a pseudo-physician. I’ll never give up my title (though I don’t tell anyone about it anymore) or my education. The education is hard-won and opens up any door you want. You, as a pseudo-physician. Give up medicine and walk through your next door!
